Once Upon A Zombie

Image representing The Walt Disney Company as ...

Image via CrunchBase

[a article of great creative interest by rocket tattoo ]

Orlando Florida

Troubled news from the Magic Kingdom today as the truly horrific images were finally revealed for all to see. CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, and even Ron Burgundy himself called for a moratorium on the limit of ghastly video, images, and assorted camera phone pictures were flooding the internet. Facebook, Instagram, Flicker, Google, and Twitter all vowed to pull any and all disturbing images from their databases.

As far as anyone can tell the imagineers at Disney/Buena Vista International finally went too far with taking “dramatic liberties” with Fairy tale characters, their own characters, and several episodes of “the walking dead”. “Through the Magic Of Disney” Beloved characters apparently were bitten, scratched, clawed, chewed, eaten and even further infected by a hoard of ruthless celluloid and digital animation eating Zombies.

The scene is so indescribably horrific that words just really cannot describe the cartoon suffering. Special agent Goofy of the Magic Kingdom Security Division was forced to break his deep cover as a long term Disney character in order to bring the grim news to the media. According to the Special Agent the madness broke out during a speaker phone conversation with The heads at ABC studios. As far as they can tell, despite the confusion of including beloved Disney Characters into the already head spinning enigma of a television show that is “Once Upon A Time” there was excitement, further eagerness, and willingness to include even more of their properties (Marvel, Star Wars, ect) into their fairy tale based show.

Little did they know that while they were having their conversation that Mickey Mouse once again (despite all the security protocols Disney had put in place) had been making Dark Disney magic while wearing the very same Sorcerers hat he wore in the movie Fantasia. It seems that there was no way Mickey could even begin to realize the ramifications of doing so after just watching a 4 hour block of “The Walking Dead” on Netflix.

Disney security, a celluloid and digital animation recovery unit, and some people dressed like keystone Cops have been deputized by Special Agent Goofy himself to help contain the Zombie virus. He would only say about the process that “Nothing shakes you to the core more than having to give Dumbo the elephant a head-shot to end his suffering”. Everything else, the entire Disney property, golf courses, people mover, Epcot, and even any images is being blacked out to the media in respect for the Families of the affected Disney Characters.

[ Rocket tattoo is a artist, thinker, blogger, comedian, happily married weirdo, and makes money online here: http://bit.ly/1acxCAp ]

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