Ancient Incan curse Corrupts computers, action figures, and pet Gerbils

Omaha Nebraska: What was once a quite Cul-de-sac has now become a major international news epicenter. News vans, satellite dishes, camera’s, broadcasting equipment, and TV newscasters speaking into microphones as far as the eye can see. According to eye witness testimony, a badly drawn sketch made by a blind homeless man, and a very blurry video made by a nanny cam The Smith family may be the first owners of a Generation IV computer cursed by the Ancient Inca’s.

Computer virus experts from around the globe have also gathered together in agreement that there has never been any computer virus or “curse” seen like it. Priest’s, shaman’s, witch doctors, used car salesmen, accident Injury lawyers, the cast of “Full House”, and a Guy named Bob who lives in the Vatican have also been called by local authorities for suggestions on not only how the curse may have started but also how to stop the curse on other potentially corrupted/cursed computers.

Head of the Smith household Mr. James Earl Jones Smith the 3rd has stated that the trouble began at 3:14 am which is a significant because Computer nerds (experts) consider this time frame to be the “Technology witching Hour”. They claim it not only invokes the power of pie but it is reportedly known as the typical time most technology breaks down, is infected, or has a blue screen of death. Mr. Smith states that he woke up from sleeping to go to the bathroom and noticed a eerie green glow and “weird looking Breaking Bad meth type smoke” coming from his son’s room as he passed by in the hall way.

As Mr. Smith entered his son’s room he claims the Generation IV computer they just had just purchased merely days before was flashing/displaying what can only be described as a ancient Incan text warning to the Smith Family of Impending Doom. Mr. Smith also claims random JPG’s of Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Imelda Marcos, Claus von Bülow, and Sponge Bob Square Pants were displayed along the side of the text.

Obviously alarmed Mr. Smith made the attempt to wake his son up by yelling: “Luke! Get up!” to which his son did not respond, becoming even more alarmed because the family gerbil started to speak a combination of Vulcan, Klingon, and an ancient Incan language, and his son’s (toys) action figures started to come to life . Mr. James Earl Jones Smith the 3rd finally yelled: “Luke! I am your Father!…. get up!” and the 2 were able to escape their home without any harm coming to them.

A Computer, weird objects, Yahtzee paranormal Hazmat team was called to contain, and destroy the Generation IV computer and the curse that was attached to it. As the team exited the house they were quoted to say: “We came! We Saw! We kicked it’s ass!”

Those who may have recently purchased a Generation IV computer are being urged to:

  • Wave the Vulcan salute in a clockwise circular motion while carefully approaching their computer

  • Make toast with Jelly and to cut the crust

  • Watch an episode of “The Rockford Files” while reading “The Hobbit”

  • Pour a circle of salt around the computer

  • Do the mocharaina backwards while wearing Stiletto’s

  • Take the Pepsi challenge

  • Dig a 9 foot hole in your back yard

  • Assemble all Avengers

  • Make Jello Pudding (any flavor)

  • Dance the Fandango

  • Invite Brian Seacrest to your next party

  • Bury your Generation IV computer in the hole you dug

  • Dial: 8675309 and say: “Its Done”

All potentially affected parties are being reassured that by following the steps they can prevent any and all Impending Doom, Incan Curses, Gerbil or action figure being possessed by Evil.

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2 thoughts on “Ancient Incan curse Corrupts computers, action figures, and pet Gerbils

  1. We actually have that Generation IV computer, but taking the Pepsi Challenge did not suffice. We also had to say “na-noo, na-noo” as we took it. I suppose Brian is Ryan Seacrest’s twin brother?

    1. yes Brian is available for Christmas card photo’s, group selfies, posing for caricatures, and does all of his more famous brother’s stunts. Glad to hear you found the Na-noo Na-noo exception. It was posted on Google plus as one of the many variations of the steps but ever since Mork has endorsed Apple Products Google keeps taking anything Mork related down from their servers.

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