The real reasons why most of the pictures taken of BigFoot are completely awful

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True story ripped from my own life story. It was circa 1970 (ish 1976? 1978?) It was picture day at school and I actually had my sister help me feather my hair (just think dude version of the Farrah Fawcett hair style), I wore a cool looking shirt, and I was looking so fine. I sit in the chair in front of the camera, the cheeky photographer (instead of saying the customary: Say Cheese!) Said: “say peaches!”. The resulting not so complementary photo (no.. I am not posting photographic evidence or example here) was me getting caught by the camera mouthing the “chus” portion of “peaches” making it look like I am either having a stroke or trying to make out with the camera (in my best Austin Powers voice: Common baby! Make love to the camera!).

I know I am not alone when it comes to awkward family photos, insane looking selfies, yearbook picture disasters, or completely lousy photo’s even Photoshop can’t help. So it must be true for BigFoot also, it just seems the poor (guy? gal?) Just can’t catch a break when there is a photo opportunity of any kind.

Is it possible that BigFoot had a previous awkward family photo?

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Maybe his/her (tribe?, family?, cluster?, fellow BigFootians?) Liked to shave their fur and pose nude?

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It would be totally badass if BigFoot was the badass with the punk haircut, goth makeup, and was fond of giving the camera the finger, and hated being a glossy photo sell out and that’s the reason why any photos taken are blurred out by censors.

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What are the chances BigFoot is one of the “people” (using the term loosely) of the people of Walmart? He got tired of pictures being snapped of him (and his back fat) in his sponge Bob pajama pants, signing autographes of DVD copies of “Harry and the Henderson’s”, and the photo’s being tweeted for all to see. Anyone can certainly understand why the experience might have had a traumatic effect rendering BigFoot camera shy.

The last and final question here is what would happen if a glossy glorious picture was finally produced of BigFoot?

Would BigFoot become the next media darling? Movies? Recording contract? Twitter feed (@BigFurry ?)?, dancing with BigFoot?, here comes BigFoot boo boo?

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One thought on “The real reasons why most of the pictures taken of BigFoot are completely awful

  1. I’m pretty amazed that Bigfoot hasn’t been hit by a car yet. Bears get struck by cars, deer as well. Bigfoot? But you never hear anything about Bigfoot accidents. Nice school photo story. I lived on Kauai and my sophomore photo makes me look like a huge stoner because my eyes are half closed. It’s bad.

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