The Force has Narcolepsy

Quick! Alert Bill Cosby! The Force has awakened and its pressing charges!. Who even knew the Force got sleepy? Tired? Needed nappy time? I have heard of the theory of relativity (for every 2 relatives you block on Facebook there are 5 more posting “The Force Awakens” spoilers), and the String Theory (the chances of a string of calls from your auto financial institution being ignored on your silenced phone and walking out to find out your car has been repossessed increase while finally getting to see “The Force Awakens”), but I for one am starting an online campaign to get The Force a well needed Sleep Study.

Sleep apnea is no picnic. Suffering from sleep apnea while at a picnic is no picnic either. Darth Vader had sleep apnea. The heavy breathing and mechanical sound was a dead giveaway. Powerful in darkside of The Force he was. Sure, he was badass and could like force choke you galaxies away, but he almost dies like literally a bazillion times every night while trying desperately to get oxygen to his Sith infused brain. Poor Bastard. 

The Force having Sleep apnea may explain a lot though. It may explain why Yoda was so freaking goofy when Luke met him for the first time. The Force was Yoda’s buddy. Yoda did not have a volley ball named Wilson to talk to, braid his hair, play Star Wars Monopoly with, or spoon with under a warm blanket. It turns out the times Yoda thought The Force was paying attention it was falling back to sleep but never really getting any rest.

Honestly though what is really in it for the Force to stay alert in the first place? Dear Force: please move this rock, Dear Force: choke this dude, Dear Force: guide this torpedo down a ventilation shaft, Dear Force: deflect this blaster energy bolt, Dear Force: please bring back McGyver, Dear Force: Help me use the Mind trick thing with this hot girl so we can Netflix and Chill. Sheesh.. bunch of winy babies.. fix your own problems I am going back to bed. Night night.

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