An Ode to Wendy O. Williams (and the Plasmatics)

::We interrupt this Blog with a chainsaw::
Believe it or not my first introduction to Wendy O. Williams was during a English class in high school. Mr. (sorry I can’t remember his last name) rolled in a TV, and VCR from the AV department and proceeded to shock, stimulate, and barrage our ears and eyes with the magic wonder and mystery that was Wendy O. Williams. He made it clear he was a big fan of hers and since she is famous for her Mohawk (did she have a mohawk? I was not paying attention to her hair at the time), strategically placed electrical tape/pasties/clothes?, and taking a chainsaw to a car while performing most of the guys in the class (who knows, maybe a couple of girls also) became instant fans also.

Mind you, this is during the early 80’s when MTV actually played music videos and it just got so crazy as to what and who would be shown on MTV it seemed like it was open season on the ears, eyes, and whatever sensibilities there may have been left over from the post disco studio 54 age. MTV garnered the reputation of being almost like a pirate radio station. You watched it during the day with your parents and they would be kind enough to show simple minds or Tiffany and when you watched late at night you just might get to see Punk Bands, Billy Idol, and even Wendy O. Williams. A complete overload of orange, green, purple hair, tattoos, piercings, ripped jeans, and badass anti-establishement rock music.

Because I truly want my blog to be rated G (PG at best) I will not post a youtube video here as an example. Never mind Lady Gaga, or Nicki Minaj, they are just mere novices when compared to the fierce full throttle bat in the face explosion that was Wendy O. Williams. Now where did I leave that chainsaw??

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Money Cat

Help control the evil money cat population. Have your Ceramic Possessed cat spayed or neutered

Help control the evil money cat population. Have your Ceramic Possessed cat spayed or neutered

Money Cat’s (sometimes called lucky cats, fortune cat, happy cat) are those freaky ceramic (I’m confused here, are they Japanese? Or Chinese?) battery operated pawing (Wikipedia claims its a beckoning motion) cats you see at the front counter when picking up your Chinese food. Am I the only one who fully expects a throw back buddy comedy-action movie starring Mel Gibson/Danny Glover? Wesley Snipes/Woody Harrelson? Woody Allen/Estelle Getty? When you say or read the very words: “Money Cat”?

Plain, and simple these things just freak me out to no end. Wikipedia may indeed be convinced that they are “beckoning” good fortune but I always make sure I have had my latest tetanus shot when I am any where near them. Who is to say ceramic battery operated (may possibly be possessed) kitty does not have metal Freddy Krueger claws? (Down cat! Down! I just want my sweet & sour chicken and egg rolls!)

AWWW.. Hello Kitty!

AWWW.. Hello Kitty!

Evil money cat could learn a thing or two from “Hello Kitty”. Now, there is a cat who is cute, welcoming, and apparently has more money than Barbie has dream houses. She’s everywhere, not just relocated to Chinese restaurants.

I want to rock and roll all night and Hello Kitty everyday

I want to rock and roll all night and Hello Kitty everyday

Kiss (the rock group, not the form of public affection) Hello Kitty? Yes..

Dr. Dre only wishes his headphones were this cool

Dr. Dre only wishes his headphones were this cool

Hello Kitty bling headphones? Yes.. Hello Kitty the flame thrower? Well.. ok there are scientists who are still working on that. So it just makes more sense to me that if your goal is to lure good fortune, money, and good luck your direction than you would want good fortune, money, good luck, and potential customers to say: “Hello Kitty!” and not want to run out in a panic.

Apparently people seem to prefer their leaders (and monsters/aliens) spitting, snarling, yelling, and in dire need of deep psychotherapy.

AAAAAAAH !! !SPARTA!

AAAAAAAH !! !SPARTA!

:Warning may contain nerdy references to nerdy stuff :

Oh hello Leonidas, leader of the 300 (spit included) !SPARTA! Half naked (gosh that must be cold) warriors. You have a visitor from the Persian empire. I have heard of being kicked to the curb but do you have a habit kicking all your UN-welcomed guests into a well??

Spider Man’s dead uncle says with great power comes great responsibility. If you missed him saying it at least 3 times in the original Tobey Maguire version the people at Marvel Comics and Disney (who owns Marvel) were kind enough to repeat the phrase again a few more times in the next movie (again with Tobey Maguire).

What good old (and dead) Uncle Ben forget to mention was people (separately and in groups) seem to take you more seriously if your yelling, screaming, spitting, snarling, and have veins popping out of your neck and head. In other words all the stress anxiety filled behavior your cardiologist warned you against.

I have drawing, doodling, painting, coloring and creating for as long as I can remember. I have a online art gallery, and actually have shown some of my art work at a few local gallery’s. Most of my subject matter is inspired by comic books, aliens, monsters, and robots (big surprise huh?). My mom asked me one time why 90% of the aliens and monsters I draw are spitting and snarling. Well Gee mom, friendly monsters and aliens are a nice idea and such with the whole saving the world, kumbaya people holding hands, figuring old cold fusion, tree hugging, xenomorph sole kissing happiness and everything but spitting, snarling monsters and aliens with anger management issues are just plain cool.

Lets just be honest for a moment, your watching your favorite sports team. If the your team is stinking up whatever playing field they play on, do you really want the coach to give everyone on the team a hug, call them over for “soul palates”, have them hold hands and click their heels, burn scented candles, or sing a 80’s big hair power ballad to them on a karaoke machine? Absolutely NOT! You seriously expect the coach to yell, scream, look like he’s about to pop his top, spit, snarl, and yell loving hatred at them. The visit to the cardiologist and psychotherapist can wait for now, we have points to get on the board to get. Bragging rights at church and work are hanging in the balance here dang it.

Peter Parker (and Tobey Macguire) was a nice guy dork who got bullied, Spider Man was a nice guy dork with great powers (you say the rest I can’t take it any more), but Venom was Spider Man’s darker alien infused, spitting, snarling, cooler anger management weirdo doppelganger self. People paid attention to him, he was stinky, nasty, and would have made a great sports coach, half naked warrior leader, and a great candidate for psychotherapy. He will just have wait in line with Bobby Night, The Incredible Hulk, Wolverine, Charlie Sheen, Leather Face, The predator, The Terminator, and Sam Kinison.

The Next Time You Get Roped (Guilted) Into Being Nominated For (& Accepting) “The Shine On Award” Make Sure You Read The Teleprompter And Stick Your “Prepared” Acceptance Speech

 
You WON! TADA!

You WON! TADA!

Its official, you blogging bloggers have officially blogged your way into my social networking consciousness. The ever so brilliant mind (or minds) behind Bumblepuppies Has taken it upon themselves to Honor (more like pester) me (here is the nomination The Shine On Award Insults My Intelligence ) with “The Shine On Award”. I am supposed share 7 things you don’t know about me and then further Nominate (obligate) other bloggers so the award is more like the song that never ends.

Here goes:

#1. I am a metal head, born and raised. I firmly believe I am the few, if not the only teenager who would come home and ask my mom to turn down her loud music instead of the other way around.

#2. I studied (for only a year) at a bible college (back in the late 80’s) to be a full time minister. I finally came to the conclusion that being a minister as my full time career choice or occupation was not my calling. I did some street preaching on the streets of New York City, have preached several sermons, and even was the speaker (preacher?) at my great aunts Funeral. I learned some impromptu illusions (that illustrate the gospel) from the street preaching group, designed my own illusions (based on years and years of being interested in and practicing stage magic) and do a gospel magic act as “Mike The Magician” when I get a chance to perform.

#3. Magic Johnson is NOT my dad. I know this comes as a big shock, but Maury Povich did the DNA test, there was a fight between Stevie Wonder and Randy Macho Man savage and the once viral youtube video of the whole event was pulled after receiving a cease and diciest order from the estate of Claus Von Bulow

#4. Video killed the Radio star. Its true, tragic and the FBI still has a wanted poster, and a warrant out the capture and arrest for Video

#5. I am NOT the cats pajamas. I may be the cats feeder, poop scooper, personal furniture to lay on, bringer of mysterious silver cans that food appears from but I am certainly not the pajamas

#6. I think my wife is a mime. She wears black leotards, pretends she’s trapped in a big glass box all the time, and refuses to talk about it

#7. Both a Chia pet and a goldfish died under my care back in the 90’s. There is still a ongoing investigation behind the matter

Now here is my chance to further Nominate (obligate) other Bloggers. They super fantastic blogs and if you feel otherwise I will have no choice except to challenge you to a watermelon seed spitting contest.

I Don’t Get It A really cool blog written by a really cool person. I love the pictures and images she finds and posts. Here is the latest article/blog (as of this date) posted: Total Yodel Recall

The Dim Wit Diary I just recently discovered this blogger. He’s a dimwit, and I am a weirdo so I guess weirdo’s and dimwits are so much alike (but not totally) that we gravitate to the same strange universe. Here is the latest blog:
Facebook odds and ends volume two

Lifebeyondexaggeration
A Truly awesome blog that is so much worth the read. The crazy real adventures will truly stun and amaze you. Here is the latest entry:
U Turn

StrawberryQuickSand This awesome Aussie tells such great stories that an American bloke like me feels like I just went on a trip around the world every time I read an entry like this one:
Will You Go Out With Me To A Beach Boys Concert

The Jogging Dad He’s a dad, he jogs, he blogs. Jogging and running is not my thing, but I like the fact he’s a dad who makes the time to jog and blog (normally not at the same time). He has a great positive perspective despite all those invisible zombies chasing him (why else would you run?). Here is latest running blog: One Day On A Treadmill

Ben’s Bitter Blog Bitter disappointment, loneliness, desperation, anxiety, and bitter bitter sarcasm awaits just a click away. If you hate happy sappy plastic flaky smiley people then Ben has the right bitter pill for you to take:
Bitter Apathetic Lazy Telekenetic Pictures Or Bitter Pictures Of The Week

Kevin Hellriegel’s Blog Of Worthless Advice Despite the fact Kevin has a restraining order against me from ever darkening his corner of World Of Warcraft ever again. I personally feel there are no real hard feelings (on my part at least) about the fake troll under the bridge incident and when I am really in need of the absolute worst, worthless, and truly useless advise I contact my attorney and read Kevin’s blog anyway:
How To Keep The Inmates Happy Teaching Your Children Good Manners

Brand X Thank You Very Much

Nice Day for a copy cat Elvis Lip curl

Nice Day for a copy cat Elvis Lip curl

Michael (yes my real name)! Sit down! Stop fidgeting! Are you day dreaming again? Pay attention!

All things I remember being told while growing up. When most of your childhood years stem from the mid 1960’s (yes I am that old) to the mid 1970’s you live in a world where keeping your head down, staying quiet, and not sticking out like a sore thumb are attributes you are told to have when in school. Good luck with that with me, God truly did break the mold when he made me and he made me to be different, way different.

My favorite picture of myself is of a toddler, I am wearing a wig my mom used to wear and I have my mom’s hand mirror and I am strumming the mirror part and grabbing the handle like its a guitar and I think I was trying to imitate a Beatle or something like that. The reason it’s my favorite is that the picture just screams: Me. It truly is a picture (no pun intended) of what is yet to come and the kind of behavior, attitude, humor, parody, and energy that can be expected from me at all times no matter how old I get.

I am technically a baby boomer, I was born just right at the edge of the baby boomer generation. The problem with this is I have absolutely nothing in common with the main section of this generation. I have always felt I identified and fit more into Generation X.

Were talking a generation that was influenced by (yes I am a movie geek) The God Father, Taxi, Midnight Cowboy, Cool hand Luke, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Star Wars, The Exorcist, Deliverance, Jaws, Halloween, and ect.

Our parents had proved that reaching the moon was just the beginning. Mars was next and Wernher Von Braun had developed the stage rockets (never used, and are on display at the NASA space camp) to get us there. The sky, stars, and universe were no match. We came to kick ass, chew gum, and we just ran out of gum.

Now of course everyone feels their particular generation they grew up in and was influenced by was the best. Everyone once they get old enough will start to feel a disconnect with people younger than themselves. Everyone will have that embarrassing moment when they make a reference and realize that very reference only further illustrates how old they really are and how much older that reference makes them feel.

I am turning 50 in august, and I don’t plan on “Growing up” anytime soon. My mustache is almost all gray now, my own mother noticed my swash of gray hair in front, and if Alex Trebek even remotely thinks of showing up at my door I plan on kicking him square in the nuts. I have no plans on going quietly in the night. I have full plans on being a 80 year old hell on wheel chair bound trouble maker with a wig on, rocking out, while listening to Billy Idol.