MOVIE QUOTE JUMBLE

Come with me if you want to live because there is no business like show business. Because only in Hollywood you don’t need roads because where we are going there are NO roads. Take the Gun and leave the cannoli because even though there is no place like home there truly no place like the Movies.

Movies give us a needed escape from life so you better get busy living or get busy dying and Movies can make you feel alive and can help you deal with death even if Stormtroopers just Killed your Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. You may want the truth but you cant handle the truth, the truth is far too boring and the movie version is always much better. The Hills are alive with the sound of music only because those hills have those iconic HOLLYWOOD letters standing on them. 

Say: I am Sparticus! All you want, but you would have to show me the money!! Oh? No money? No worries because Hollywood is genuine proof that if you build it they will come. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember, all I’m offering is the truth – nothing more.

So what you want Mary? Should I give you the moon? NO I give you Hollywood, movies, and an escape. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. So go see a movie dang it. Look, No body puts baby in a corner and your hard earned dollars can help Baby buy some hair straightener. Her hair dresser says I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore. Because with great power comes great responsibility and there is no greater responsibility than being in charge of those tight curls. 

Say what you want about the demise of the Hollywood Myth, all it needs is Bond, James Bond and he likes his martini’s shaken not stirred. All it takes to wake Hollywood up is  to give it a taste of Hanzo Steel. I didn’t say, sell me. I said, give me. Any movie nerd is obliged to assist you in the extermination of your vermin, Because your vermin, is a former student. And considering the student, I’d say you had a rather large obligation. 

So play it Sam, play that movie on the big screen. This is going to start of a beautiful friendship. I will be the movie geek with the Twizzlers and the chocolate covered raisins.

Apparently even weirdo Geeks can receive The Golden Goose Award

The Golden Goose Award

Be careful what you write, it may come back and tap you on the shoulder, whack you on the head, and pat you on the back. One of my favorite blogs The Grimm Report opened up their blog for submissions and they not only did they accept my submission , but they must have gone temporarily insane, posted it, and then proceeded to give me an award for my effort.

It’s really not for me to speak out of turn about what prescription medication the folks at The Grimm Report may be taking or what medication they should be taking instead but I guess I should go ahead and give an acceptance speech:

“By the power of Voltron, The Power Puff Girls, Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a Spider can, Iron Man, and in honor of all aliens, monsters, nerds, geeks, costumed cosplayers, weirdo’s, and dorks I do humbly accept and gratefully thank the People at The Grimm Report for the Golden Goose Award.

Apparently people seem to prefer their leaders (and monsters/aliens) spitting, snarling, yelling, and in dire need of deep psychotherapy.

AAAAAAAH !! !SPARTA!

:Warning may contain nerdy references to nerdy stuff :

Oh hello Leonidas, leader of the 300 (spit included) !SPARTA! Half naked (gosh that must be cold) warriors. You have a visitor from the Persian empire. I have heard of being kicked to the curb but do you have a habit kicking all your UN-welcomed guests into a well??

Spider Man’s dead uncle says with great power comes great responsibility. If you missed him saying it at least 3 times in the original Tobey Maguire version the people at Marvel Comics and Disney (who owns Marvel) were kind enough to repeat the phrase again a few more times in the next movie (again with Tobey Maguire).

What good old (and dead) Uncle Ben forget to mention was people (separately and in groups) seem to take you more seriously if your yelling, screaming, spitting, snarling, and have veins popping out of your neck and head. In other words all the stress anxiety filled behavior your cardiologist warned you against.

I have drawing, doodling, painting, coloring and creating for as long as I can remember. I have a online art gallery, and actually have shown some of my art work at a few local gallery’s. Most of my subject matter is inspired by comic books, aliens, monsters, and robots (big surprise huh?). My mom asked me one time why 90% of the aliens and monsters I draw are spitting and snarling. Well Gee mom, friendly monsters and aliens are a nice idea and such with the whole saving the world, kumbaya people holding hands, figuring old cold fusion, tree hugging, xenomorph sole kissing happiness and everything but spitting, snarling monsters and aliens with anger management issues are just plain cool.

Lets just be honest for a moment, your watching your favorite sports team. If the your team is stinking up whatever playing field they play on, do you really want the coach to give everyone on the team a hug, call them over for “soul palates”, have them hold hands and click their heels, burn scented candles, or sing a 80’s big hair power ballad to them on a karaoke machine? Absolutely NOT! You seriously expect the coach to yell, scream, look like he’s about to pop his top, spit, snarl, and yell loving hatred at them. The visit to the cardiologist and psychotherapist can wait for now, we have points to get on the board to get. Bragging rights at church and work are hanging in the balance here dang it.

Peter Parker (and Tobey Macguire) was a nice guy dork who got bullied, Spider Man was a nice guy dork with great powers (you say the rest I can’t take it any more), but Venom was Spider Man’s darker alien infused, spitting, snarling, cooler anger management weirdo doppelganger self. People paid attention to him, he was stinky, nasty, and would have made a great sports coach, half naked warrior leader, and a great candidate for psychotherapy. He will just have wait in line with Bobby Night, The Incredible Hulk, Wolverine, Charlie Sheen, Leather Face, The predator, The Terminator, and Sam Kinison.

What I learned from “The Wolverine”

When you loose your will to live you grow a crazy looking beard. when you have a crazy looking beard you look like a crazy homeless guy. When you look like a crazy homeless guy your best friend is a grizzly bear. When your best friend is a grizzly bear you wind up smelling like salmon poop. Don’t wind up smelling like salmon poop, Get Direct TV and don’t loose your will to live.

Obviously being hairy, grumpy, a rage-aholic, and being “dreamy” (my wife’s words not mine) can only be pulled off by Hugh Jackman

Wolverine claws Vs Samurai sword: Claws win.

Wolverine claws Vs Large Adamantium robot: Tie (sort of)

Japanese girl + Katana + Bullet train = awesome

There is a 2 mutant minimum per movie

What the H? Wolverine survived the H bomb in 1944 Nagasaki Japan and he didn’t even say what the H?

Wil Wheaton is NOT a mutant

Wil Wheaton is NOT human

Wil Wheaton is NOT in this movie

$4.00 is too much to pay for chocolate covered raisins

Every time I go to the theater and the staff is tuxedo garb I always feel under dressed