Tuesdays with the Toaster

Machines, technology, computers, and websites like Healthcare.gov are trying to take over the world. Or at least that is what science fiction movies are trying convince us of. Sometimes just to mix things up and then the Human falls in love with their computer, the computer/machine is used to make a hot model who just stepped out of a Simply Irresistible Robert Palmer video making for some weird science, the machine is a friendly Robot named Robby, C3PO, or R2D2, and sometimes the 3 laws of Robotics are misunderstood and then we go back to machines trying to take over again.

Fictional machines are strangely fond of having human voices and characteristics. The Terminator? Looks and sound an awful lot like a stressed out former Governor of California with anger management issues, HAL 9000? sounds like a physics professor on LSD, W.O.P.R (War Operation Plan Response) from “War Games”? Sounds like Stephen Hawking with a even bigger ego (if that’s possible), and Siri? (oops I am sorry siri..your real I swear!) sounds like the GPS turn by turn lady who in turn sounds like the nagging wife of the programmer who made her.

Its about machines, how Johnny Depp wants to become one, how Joaquin Phoenix wants to fall in love with one, how machines dispensing fluoridation are sapping our precious bodily fluids, Dr. Charles A. Forbin wants to stop the supercomputer he created from playing footsy with a Russian Computer, and how Ferris Bueller just wants the high school computer to give him a higher grade.

I personally think we need to be kinder to machines. If the X-Men are afraid of the Sentinels we certainly should be treating them with a lot more respect and kindness. Possibly a cup of earl grey tea with your favorite blender, Tuesdays with your Toaster where it not only dispenses delicious toast, but also deeply important wisdom about life, or maybe including your Homedics Shiatsu Foot Massager in selfies, Christmas card photo’s, vacation photo’s, family video’s, and would it kill you a little to attend their Millitary Shiatsu Foot Massager School plays once in a while??

Party Pooper

I just saw a commercial where TV parents celebrated their TV daughter’s first flush. “Under the sea” was playing so I can only assume there is a not so hidden subliminal message about what exactly may have swirling round and round in the toilet bowl before hopefully going down. I find it awfully funny (strange..not haha) that networks can elude to pooping but thankfully insists the contents in bowl be blurred out. Personally I would also like to thank them for not even mentioning the subject but since everybody poops and everybody (and I do mean everybody) wants to squeeze the Charmin that may explain the fascination with the subject matter.

Let’s talk about your Bum or lets promote what is really a baby wipe disguising itself as a wet posterior wipe to make sure the poop has been completely eliminated from well.. your posterior. Seems more like a case of a toilet tissue company developing a extra product and step to cleaning yourself off than really necessary. Somebody (or some money) has to keep those investors happy and since they also poop might as well do it in style with the extra generated revenue.

Question: when the President Poops does “hail to the chief” play while the poop is going down the toilet? And is it customary to salute while it does so?