An Ode to Wendy O. Williams (and the Plasmatics)

::We interrupt this Blog with a chainsaw::
Believe it or not my first introduction to Wendy O. Williams was during a English class in high school. Mr. (sorry I can’t remember his last name) rolled in a TV, and VCR from the AV department and proceeded to shock, stimulate, and barrage our ears and eyes with the magic wonder and mystery that was Wendy O. Williams. He made it clear he was a big fan of hers and since she is famous for her Mohawk (did she have a mohawk? I was not paying attention to her hair at the time), strategically placed electrical tape/pasties/clothes?, and taking a chainsaw to a car while performing most of the guys in the class (who knows, maybe a couple of girls also) became instant fans also.

Mind you, this is during the early 80’s when MTV actually played music videos and it just got so crazy as to what and who would be shown on MTV it seemed like it was open season on the ears, eyes, and whatever sensibilities there may have been left over from the post disco studio 54 age. MTV garnered the reputation of being almost like a pirate radio station. You watched it during the day with your parents and they would be kind enough to show simple minds or Tiffany and when you watched late at night you just might get to see Punk Bands, Billy Idol, and even Wendy O. Williams. A complete overload of orange, green, purple hair, tattoos, piercings, ripped jeans, and badass anti-establishement rock music.

Because I truly want my blog to be rated G (PG at best) I will not post a youtube video here as an example. Never mind Lady Gaga, or Nicki Minaj, they are just mere novices when compared to the fierce full throttle bat in the face explosion that was Wendy O. Williams. Now where did I leave that chainsaw??

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Like totally Rad, Life is so like tubular and these enormous shoulder pads make me look so great

 

I recently watched a episode from Breaking Bad. The character Hank Schrader is a DEA agent and made a commentary and reference that took me a while to catch. He was on a stake out with with his brother in law Walter White and during the total tedious boredom of it all Hank says: “Its not all super models and speed boats”. Finally my 80’s light bulb went on and realized he had just made a “Miami Vice” reference.

 

Its true though, the 80’s promised a lot of things that just were not based on any reality that can be found anywhere. It promised a cable  MUSIC television station that played only music. It amazes me they still have the nerve to call themselves MTV when there is very little M to be found in the TV any more. I want my MTV.. the old one that actually rocked the speakers off any television.    

 

One of the more favorite nerd internet complaints is where in the heck are these hover boards we were promised in “Back to the future”?  I hold both Robert Zemeckis and Michael J. Fox personally accountable for with holding hover board technology. Sure the government wants to make a weapon out of it, but you know that only leads to Chuck Norris riding one into enemy territory. Now how awesome is that?

 

Despite what “The (original) Karate Kid promised pruning Bonsai Trees Does not lead to happiness, serenity, higher karate kicks, or even remotely makes any girl any where more attracted you. Let’s face it, when you devote as much passion to a miniature ficus bush  (or what suspiciously looks like a decorative tree used on a train set) as Daniel did then any girl will most likely will be confused about what exactly the nature of the relationship is between you and Benny (cute name possibly given to Bonsai Tree, but I don’t want to talk about that).

 

We were promised (during the 80’s) a future where everyone looks like a line backer (and I do mean everyone). Even Murphy Brown when was oh so busy battling Dan Quayle and his misspelled potato had shoulder pads big enough that she could have easily taken on William (aka The Fridge) Perry. I am not sure how the confrontation would have panned out, that particular episode of Battle Of The Network Stars never aired.