Give us a (awkward) hug

Hug Steve

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

Is it me? Or is there a younger, hipper, less emotionally damaged generation who is hell bent on hugging? Now mind you, I am not stating for the record that I am against hugs. They are great!… but only from a select few people I actually would like to receive one from. The approved hug list pretty much revolves family and close friends. Even then there are exceptions to the rules I have put in place as to who exactly I will and wont hug. Complete strangers are not totally of the question (like say: Sofía Vergara can hug me anytime she wants) it just has to go through my very complicated application process.

Don’t even get me started on “group hugs”. UGH no thanks, I would much rather be bitten by a Vampire covered in leaches being half eaten by a zombie killer shark from another planet. Then there is the completely random, UN-announced, so not expected hug. Yes it has happened to me, and can I say? I am not so much of a fan. Fist bump? Heck yeah! (and make it explode on the way out) hand shake? Yes! (I welcome a firm hand shake) but hugging is just something completely personal, in my personal space, and needs approval. (I will send you a application form to fill out)

A friend, and Pastor of mine is a hugger. I learned real quick to be hugged with our without my permission. I love God, and I love you sir, but can I just give you a handshake? Or a high five? At this point I want to invent a hug proof vest. (unless you are Sofía Vergara)

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The Macho Man Vs The Sensitive Circus Clown

macho_man_randy_savage

One of my favorite bloggers touched on what exactly makes a man.. well manly? I have always rejected the square peg meets round hole stereo types, and notions. Mostly because I am willing to openly admit I don’t meet most of the what I personally feel are stupid notions. Men are tough, men don’t cry, men like being sweaty and dirty, men eat coal and crap diamonds, men are hunters, men hate hugging, men don’t show their feelings, men love fast cars and loose women, men wear beards (with no real offense meant to the real cast) and look like the cast of Duck Dynasty. The completely ridiculous Macho Man Randy Savage list goes on and on. Give me a break!

My older brother I feel certainly fits the bill of what I personally term a “Mans man”. He hunts, he owns and operates guns, he wears a lot of camouflage, rides a motorcycle, is moody, broody, and is more prone to punch you in the face or give you a hearty fist bump rather than give you a hug (just think of the uber-male that you see portrayed in a beer commercial and you get the idea) . Me on the other hand, I am not any of that at all. I (big surprise here) am more prone to be the sensitive hugging joker creative artistic clown who loves pretty flowers, puppy’s, and is easily distracted by laser lights and shiny objects. I love to wear colorful clothes, make my own accessories (necklaces, wrist bands), I am sorta obsessive about my clothes and how they match, have dyed my hair several colors, and yes I am thoroughly heterosexual without question because lets just say there are certain parts of the female anatomy that just send me into outer space.

This is not to say that I don’t have my moments as a typical guy (or husband). Even after being married for 25 years and knowing my wife for 30, I still have to remind myself that she really doesn’t want me to “fix” her problems (per say) but really just wants me to listen. Good luck ladies, guys are built to be builders, fixers, and problem solvers and anytime there is a chance to use tools, or duct tape we loose ourselves like a golden retriever looses itself over a tennis ball.

I guess my point here is to NEVER allow anyone, anywhere, for any reason try to pigeon hole you, control you, and tell you that you don’t fit the description of a Man or Woman. I tend not to trust public opinion because I never cared to do something just because “everyone is doing it”. In-fact, if anything I have always reserved the right to make my own mind at my own pace about my own life with no apologies for doing so. If you don’t like me or the way I do things then that is your problem not mine.