who’s smart now?

Quick! Picture someone smart in your mind after being given the following discriptions: Genius, Nobel peace prize worthy, Pulitzer prize contender (the Pulitzer prize committee has yet to return or answer my request for a prize), smart, & super smart.

If you pictured A nerd, Sheldon Cooper, Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, a world class chess champion, or one if those mathletes who make complicated spacetime algorythims look like child’s play then chances are you are not alone.

This is not to say these super smart people do not deserve to be pictured in our minds (or hearts) after being given such descriptions, I honestly believe though we need to expand our minds (and hearts) when considering who the really smart people are in the world and in our lives.

Personally I feel mom’s should top the list. Anyone who can multitask couponing, laundry, kitchen duty, provide snacks for soccer, and just barely escape going completely bonkers or becoming an achololic (more box wine puleeeez) is a freaking genius. There are men I personally know who may never fit the description of “book smart” but have an above genius level of know how in building, construction, brick work, plumbing, and mechanics. One man in particular has blown my mind ( but then spray cheese blows my mind also) in many levels on his mechanical abilities.

What about artists?, dancers, writers, bloggers, cool people who find cool and interesting pictures to post on their blog, painters, and other creative types? Don’t they deserve the “genius” moniker?

If you need me I will be busy submitting my 2000 page thesis on why electromagnetically charged peanut butter particles once owned by a squirrel princess warrior with emotional “new TV” season issues are prone to stick on band aide brand to a large gathering of biker moms with tattoos.

Under the influence of caffiene

Caffeine: lovely, fantastic, beautiful caffeine. I owe (blame?) most of my best barrbed comments, wittiest comebacks, and awe-inspired (at least that’s what I claimed in my submission for a pulitzer prize) work. While I am at it I can blame caffeine for the rotten, no good, truly awful open mouth insert foot stuff I allegedly may have said or posted.

Someone or something has to take the credit and heat for all of that. Taking personal accountability would be asking way too much and also gives me a very flimsy excuse or story for the kind police officer who pulled me over and suspects I may have working, walking, blogging, and thinking while under the influence of caffeine. (Nothing to see here officer, just me holding a voluptious cold energy drink can in my hand as if I was holding the ring of power from Lord Of The Rings saying in my Golum voice: “My precious… My precious”)

Caffeine comes in so many forms it may cause someone who had a problem or addiction with it (gosh I really hope those kind of people just get real and get some help) to wonder to themselves what exactly would be the best way to deliver the benefits of caffiene?

Only for the benefit of this blog I have done research (investigative work?) on the matter. Mountain Dew is a good stand by, coffee is such a gift (dear Starbucks: your coffee is way too expensive) and Monster energy drinks have always been my favorite.

Sleep depravation is a cruel joke invented by late night talk shows, QVC, golden girls marathons, and commercials about your medicare options. Life is short, stay awake for it.

Does any one other than me think Television executives are stark raving mad?

I am actually at a place now with television programming that I long for the days where you had the traditional “seasons” (fall through late spring) and then had to be subjected to mini-series, celebrities competing with each other in skimpy bathing suites, and the occasional screening of “Old Yeller” during the summer off season. Now we are at a point where networks will put anything and everything on air. I can only imagine the conversations that take place: “Hey Henry, how about a sitcom about a Love struck Gopher who dabbles as a Vampire hunter?” or “Wow look at this script Steve! A dysfunctional alien dad tries to bring up 10 down and out penguin’s who escaped from a cruel zoo keeper portrayed by a cartoon alligator”. I blame the reality show craze, and please don’t even get me started on that vein. Is anyone really watching “survivor” anymore? It should have been voted off the island a very, very long time ago.

So here is the current cancellation list of shows you may possibly care less about to shows that may cause you to write a hate filled letter. After all the networks pump up, push, market, and try to convince you when they originally air these shows that they are the greatest thing since Matlock.
Deception (NBC): Cancelled.
Animal Practice (NBC): Put down.
Do No Harm (NBC): Harmed.
30 Rock (NBC): Over.
Guys with Kids (NBC): You can’t believe how cancelled this is.
The Office (NBC): Closed.
Smash (NBC): Smushed.
Up All Night (NBC): Christina Applegate quit: This was cancelled … by its own star!
Whitney (NBC): Thankfully.
1600 Penn (NBC): Impeached.
Made in Jersey (CBS): Terminated.
Private Practice (ABC): Spin-off heaven.
Partners (CBS): Dumped
Ben & Kate (Fox): & Cancelled.
Vegas (CBS): Lost.
Go On (NBC): Get out.
Fringe (Fox): R.I.P.
Touch (Fox): Touchable.
The Job (CBS): What?
The Mob Doctor (Fox): Ha! That title. Yeah. Deceased.
Don’t Trust the B– in Apt. 23 (ABC): Speaking of: Did anyone really believe a comedy with “B—-” in the title was going to last?
666 Park Avenue (ABC): Hellbound.
Last Resort (ABC): Indeed.
Rules of Engagement (CBS): Broken.
Golden Boy (CBS): Tarnished.
CSI: NY (CBS): Two down, one to go.
Zero Hour (ABC): Zero something all right.
Emily Owens, M.D. (The CW): Crashed.
How to Live with Your Parents (ABC): Evicted.
Red Widow (ABC): Exterminated.
Body of Proof (ABC): D.O.A.
The New Normal (NBC): Or not.
Family Tools (ABC): Put away.
Malibu Country (ABC): Overthrown.
Happy Endings (ABC): Until this happened.
90210 (The CW): Finished.
Cult (The CW): Unfollowed.